December, please hurry and get here.

Thinking.

Quote of the Day. Nuff Said.

Just eat real food, eat it often and exclusively — except now and then — enjoy your life, and create opportunities to socialize and share food with others. Get good sleep, give your lover a decent fucking, and laugh at anyone and everyone who wants to prescribe a life for you, especially as concerns politics and its whores.
– Richard Nikoley of Free the Animal

Titration this.

I am so beyond tired of computing hundreds of chemical reactions, balancing equations, and interpreting graphs. Tomorrow is my third try on this ridiculous test. My brain feels like scrambled eggs, my eyes are sunken in. I am tired. Time for some easy music, green tea, and some star gazing. Not that I will have the ability to appreciate the stars as West Texas is covered in flames and my dark night sky is clouded with ash and dust. I suppose green tea and easy music will cure the weariness for awhile, then it is back to the books.

Six more weeks of school, R&R, and then I'm headed to Europe...oooh I CAN NOT WAIT!!! :)

Crossfit Junkie.

It never fails, as miserable, lonely and depressed as I might be, Cross fit always seems to bring an effervescent smile on my face.

I have always had a huge problem with confidence in my abilities to push heavy weight and perform accurate moves. I know the strength is there, the motivation is there, and the determination; but for some reason I seem to always lack the confidence. Today, conquered this confidence burden.

Every single time I have tried to master the Overhead Squat I have failed, miserably. Bruised toes, sore wrists, and a wobbly core all encompass my poor attempts at this functional move. Today, I conquered the move. In fact, I successfully completed 6 reps for five rounds along with some other moves in those vomit inducing WODS.

It was awesome. I was so giddy with delight and proud of my accomplishment. I never thought I would be able to conquer this move. My posture is piss poor, flexibility non-existent, add in a wobbly, dancing core and that has historically spelled a huge recipe for disaster.

Today, was a much needed happy, successful, fulfilling day. Today I tackled my confidence and prevailed with a perfect overhead squat. The most exciting part is I did five rounds of 6 reps each. I was the last person to complete the WOD today, but I don't care. The fact that I completed the workout with 100% accuracy is what is most important.

Today, thank god, was a great day.

Monday Blues

Oh, how the weekend always seems to fly by so effortlessly. Tomorrow starts the 1st week of the final nine weeks at school. In 9 weeks, I have completed my very first year of teaching. I'm still sane. It's amazing. Surprisingly enough, it was not too bad, even with two crazy dogs, two unsuccessful attempts on my certification exam, oh yeah and a deployed husband. I've only grown two gray hairs, dark circles every now and then, and a few mere indiciations of crowe's feet forming on my eyes.

This Army wife thing is tough, the constant up and down battles, being alone with no nearby support system. I miss my husband. I miss my confidant, my number one, my partner in crime. I find myself relishing in anger over the actual validity of these deployments. I understand the basis, but not the frequency.

With each day that passes, it only brings us closer to being together again.

"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."

Fabulous.

Well, today I embarked on a fabulous new journey. I felt something I have not felt in a long time. The feeling was so surreal that it brought me to tears. Today, I went to church. My faith in the last few years has diminished and as horrific and embarrassed that I am...it became non-existent. Interestingly enough, I felt whole, full filled, at peace at the end. I did not feel intruded, or overwhelmed by religion; however I felt encouragingly overwhelmed with serenity and peace.

The message dealt with forgiveness. Forgiveness is something I find myself constantly struggling with. In the past few months, my heart has turned somewhat cold. I find myself giving people chance after chance after chance only to be let down, to be disappointed, and bitter. I then realize that this constant worry, bitterness builds up. After today I have decided to free myself of these burdens. As the pastor danced around, laughing, and singing I realized that this is what I was. This is who I used to be. I have freed myself of these disappointments, I have freed myself of the bitterness, and I have freed myself od this constant worry.

I will not allow the sadness of others to bring me down. I am far too happy, lucky, and blessed to feel this constant sort of worry. I have an amazing and loving husband who treats me like a queen. I live in a beautiful home, a I am blessed witj great job, and a good head on my shoulders. I am excited for the future, I am passionate about my marriage, and I am ecstatic about my new church home!

Proverb 17:22
"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."

Oh Happy Day!

What a beautiful day it was. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and the sweet smell of Spring is drawing near. I can't wait to plant beautiful flowers in my garden, watch the hummingbirds feed, and most of all enjoy the warm buttery sun warming my skin.

Spring to me is the most wonderful time, its the most happiest time of the year! :)

Tired. Spring. Fever.

Only 5 more working days until Spring break! I can't wait! :)

I've already planted several species of flora, to include: Delphinium, Cosmos, Sweet Pea, Echinacea, Larkspur, and Lupine. I am hoping this year is much more successful then last year with the plants. I suppose with time, I'll get better at it. As long as my evil dog does not terrorize them as if they are delicacies.

We are coming up on 5 weeks into this beachless vacation and things seem to be looking brighter. There isn't a second that goes by that I do not think, yearn, or wish my husband was home. I find myself observing people more. I see women who are so unappreciative of what they have, unappreciative of the man that cares for them, the man that supports her family, and a man who is there in body. I overheard a woman today criticize her husband regarding his dish washing capabilities. The criticism turned into a huge argument in the milk department. I think to myself, wow...seriously..have you nothing else to be so ungrateful for.

My husband is wonderful at dishes, but horrible at folding laundry. I would give anything in this world for him to come home and horribly fold my laundry. In fact, I would be ecstatic to watch him so ungraciously fold our laundry. At least he would be here. At least I could tell him face to face how much I love him, how much I adore him, and how grateful and proud I am to be his wife.

I am so grateful for our military and the sacrifices they make each day for our well being, our safety, and our security. I wish people would stop and realize how good they have it and how precious time is.

I just graded over 300 papers for my students, I don't have time to individually score each and every one of them...as long as they tried they get 100%. I'm in a grateful and gracious mood. I hope for their sake I feel the same in the morning!! Muahahahaa! :)

My Cloud.

My day started pretty typical: a hot shower, 4 egg whites two pieces of turkey bacon and a small coffee (black). My life is so routine. Wake up, go to work, go to the gym come home go to bed.

Rather then have a typical ride to work, coffee in one hand..almond butter apple in the other, I left the house with my coffee. Cruising without a care in the world when all of a sudden I see the worst possible thing I can see. Killeen's finest police officer. I assume I was speeding because if I wasn't this lonely, old, obese man would not have pulled me over. I proceded to pull to the side of the road and began to take in very deep breaths. I gazed at the bright warm orange sun and braced myself for this loathsome goon.

Unfortunatley, my assumption was correct. I had been speeding, in fact I was going well over the speed limit. What a better way to start my day than receive a nice big fat traffic ticket to enjoy with my morning coffee. Thank you Mr. Lonely obese, stale coffee cigarette breath smelling police office for coming into my life and presenting me with one of the most gracious gifts. It was much appreciated.

Not much to say today, I feel like an emo child with a small perpetous cloud of gloom hovering over me. This too shall pass, just another small hill to climb, which I shall conquer.

Off to bed, hoping the sun shines warmer and brighter for me tomorrow..

Ignoring Ignorance

I find myself struggling once again to ignore the ignorance of people. As my weekend concludes, I struggle to find a happy medium, I struggle to find a safe circle, a point of peace, a balanced center.

I will continue to steady myself, and find a protective medium through this indomitable storm of ignorance. I refuse to become overpowered, controlled and manipulated by ignorance.

Love.

Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle, rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be. ~Author Unknown