Monday Blues

Oh, how the weekend always seems to fly by so effortlessly. Tomorrow starts the 1st week of the final nine weeks at school. In 9 weeks, I have completed my very first year of teaching. I'm still sane. It's amazing. Surprisingly enough, it was not too bad, even with two crazy dogs, two unsuccessful attempts on my certification exam, oh yeah and a deployed husband. I've only grown two gray hairs, dark circles every now and then, and a few mere indiciations of crowe's feet forming on my eyes.

This Army wife thing is tough, the constant up and down battles, being alone with no nearby support system. I miss my husband. I miss my confidant, my number one, my partner in crime. I find myself relishing in anger over the actual validity of these deployments. I understand the basis, but not the frequency.

With each day that passes, it only brings us closer to being together again.

"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."

Fabulous.

Well, today I embarked on a fabulous new journey. I felt something I have not felt in a long time. The feeling was so surreal that it brought me to tears. Today, I went to church. My faith in the last few years has diminished and as horrific and embarrassed that I am...it became non-existent. Interestingly enough, I felt whole, full filled, at peace at the end. I did not feel intruded, or overwhelmed by religion; however I felt encouragingly overwhelmed with serenity and peace.

The message dealt with forgiveness. Forgiveness is something I find myself constantly struggling with. In the past few months, my heart has turned somewhat cold. I find myself giving people chance after chance after chance only to be let down, to be disappointed, and bitter. I then realize that this constant worry, bitterness builds up. After today I have decided to free myself of these burdens. As the pastor danced around, laughing, and singing I realized that this is what I was. This is who I used to be. I have freed myself of these disappointments, I have freed myself of the bitterness, and I have freed myself od this constant worry.

I will not allow the sadness of others to bring me down. I am far too happy, lucky, and blessed to feel this constant sort of worry. I have an amazing and loving husband who treats me like a queen. I live in a beautiful home, a I am blessed witj great job, and a good head on my shoulders. I am excited for the future, I am passionate about my marriage, and I am ecstatic about my new church home!

Proverb 17:22
"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."

Oh Happy Day!

What a beautiful day it was. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and the sweet smell of Spring is drawing near. I can't wait to plant beautiful flowers in my garden, watch the hummingbirds feed, and most of all enjoy the warm buttery sun warming my skin.

Spring to me is the most wonderful time, its the most happiest time of the year! :)

Tired. Spring. Fever.

Only 5 more working days until Spring break! I can't wait! :)

I've already planted several species of flora, to include: Delphinium, Cosmos, Sweet Pea, Echinacea, Larkspur, and Lupine. I am hoping this year is much more successful then last year with the plants. I suppose with time, I'll get better at it. As long as my evil dog does not terrorize them as if they are delicacies.

We are coming up on 5 weeks into this beachless vacation and things seem to be looking brighter. There isn't a second that goes by that I do not think, yearn, or wish my husband was home. I find myself observing people more. I see women who are so unappreciative of what they have, unappreciative of the man that cares for them, the man that supports her family, and a man who is there in body. I overheard a woman today criticize her husband regarding his dish washing capabilities. The criticism turned into a huge argument in the milk department. I think to myself, wow...seriously..have you nothing else to be so ungrateful for.

My husband is wonderful at dishes, but horrible at folding laundry. I would give anything in this world for him to come home and horribly fold my laundry. In fact, I would be ecstatic to watch him so ungraciously fold our laundry. At least he would be here. At least I could tell him face to face how much I love him, how much I adore him, and how grateful and proud I am to be his wife.

I am so grateful for our military and the sacrifices they make each day for our well being, our safety, and our security. I wish people would stop and realize how good they have it and how precious time is.

I just graded over 300 papers for my students, I don't have time to individually score each and every one of them...as long as they tried they get 100%. I'm in a grateful and gracious mood. I hope for their sake I feel the same in the morning!! Muahahahaa! :)